Tonight I realized…I’m addicted to an app and it’s not okay.
Here’s the thing, I have an instagram, you probably have instagram, most of us have instagram accounts.
I had an “ah ha” moment tonight when I realized my entire night was ruined because of instagram. In fact, some of my days, nights, etc..have been ruined by instagram a lot. I am sure I am not the only one that can attest to this.
Here’s The Story,
My husband and I got new iphones today. I set up a two factor authentication on my instagram so that no one would “steal it”. My reason is, I have spent quite a few years building it up for social proof. I’ve cried over my followers, been obsessive over followers, and honestly it’s got to stop.
Lets Look At My Nights Time Frame:
5:30 pm: To continue with this story, I tried logging into my instagram and they wouldn’t send me the 6 digit authentication codes. Literally I saw my photography business crumble before my eyes. So I messaged instagram, I tried logging in SO MANY TIMES, nothing. Nothing was working.
I tried so many different ways, searching internet videos, contacting instagram, taking a picture of myself with a code, I was trying to wait for a response. My night was consumed my stress level maxed. My son wanted my attention and so did my husband. I didn’t care though. I was on a mission to have my beloved instagram working again.
6:40 pm: After about an hour of no success, my sweet in laws brought us dinner. I was so thankful. You see, right now I am pregnant and have been having some complications (stress by the way doesn’t help at all). When my in-laws came over they played with my son, talked with us, but all I could think about was instagram. “Why isn’t it working?!” Is it ever going to work? I’m a dead woman if I cannot get instagram to work.
7:30 pm: My in-laws leave. It’s time for us to eat dinner but, I can’t focus. My mind is literally tunnel visioned on why instagram isn’t working. I try again, but this time it says, “sorry something went wrong try again later.” I took it as no big deal UNTIL it wouldn’t let me even get to the part where instagram sends my phone a text! Than on ANY device I tried the same saying came up “please try again later”. My heart literally sank to the bottom of my chest. “Was I being banned from instagram?!” I saw my business flash before my eyes again.
7:30-8 pm: I’m supposed to be interacting with my son, eating dinner, but nope….I’m stressed over instagram. An app that I’m somehow addicted to and is currently more important than anything in the world. I didn’t eat much. Instead I was too addicted to youtube videos on how to fix my solution…even though nothing worked.
8-11:00 pm This is currently. I have spent the last three hours of my life searching on how to get back into my instagram account. I mean I have 12.5k followers I’m a BIG DEAL…right? Wrong. No nothing is changing and nothing will change probably for awhile. I’ve emailed support I might not get help from. But that’s not the point.
The point is…my entire night was ruined all because of an app. An app that I have SADLY and GROSSLY put all of my success on. An app that tells me if I’m worth something in this world. An app that has taken over many of our lives and destroyed our posture.
I have seen women, men, and myself ruin their self esteem. Make themselves feel less then because of this app. I mean….lets be honest when you scroll you compare and are happy for others! But the comparison game is to me the devils playground. Its something that will strike at anytime. It can make you feel like who you are and what you are doing doesn’t matter because you will never measure up to that photographer, business owner, mother, house owner, etc.
God does not want us to feel this way. Yet, we’re addicted to feeling this way everyday. Satan loves that we live in a world where we always feel less then what we are actually worth. He loves that our actual emotional experiences with each other are glossed over by a comment on instagram.
It’s the daily go out of your way to make a phone call, see someone, love someone, serve someone moments that matter. Those moments are what make relationships last. Not the “you go girl” comments we get on our pages from people we barley talk to anymore.
Don’t get me wrong. I love posting pretty pictures about my family and business and I love seeing how my friends are doing. But, everything else can go to you know where.
I’m sitting here realizing, I might not ever get instagram back or I might get it back tomorrow. Who knows. I can’t help but think “What if instagram left this world?” Would any of us live?! Would any businesses thrive?!
Yes it’s a wonderful tool. It’s also addictive which I have sadly found out I am addicted to. But the thing is, the saying that I keep getting in my head is,
“You don’t need instagram to be successful.” Instagram does NOT define who you are in any way.
I feel like President Nielson was truly inspired. Instagram can suck the fun out of our lives. I mean, I’ve had days when I’ve gone into sure anxiety attacks because my life does not look as wonderful as the next person’s life. Or my follower count is not as high as another photographers count. Instagram has made my “perfectionist” issue even more of an issue. Even though we were sent to this life not to be perfect or look perfect. We will not leave this life perfect…so why do we try so hard to make it look that way? Well, you can thank instagrams perfect posts for a lot of that mentality.
Truth is…I’m sick of it. I never want this kind of a night to happen to my family again. My lesson learned is if I never get it back, now I can be creative, innovative, and more likely to succeed because I will be putting my energy in SO many other places. If I do get my instagram accounts back…there will be rules. I’m not sure what, but I’ve committed to stop my addiction to instagram. It’s a wonderful tool for my photography business. But it should not be my ONLY tool with any business in life.
I honestly feel like my mind has room to grow without the daunting “see how many likes I am getting”.
Besides that….A LOT of times you stop scrolling through instagram and just feel purley crappy about yourself. Why do that to yourself? Why do I do that to myself?! I don’t want 6 hours a week to be wasted on instagram any longer. I’m coming out and saying let’s fight our instagram addictions together. I have faith we can do it. But, I swear to you NEVER AGAIN will a silly little app consume my night the way it has tonight.
My life is so much more than posting. My life deserves to be so much more successful without the approval of likes. I thank Heavenly Father for letting me have this ah hah moment. I am grateful for this trial whether it gets solved or not because I have learned a valuable lesson. I am more than my head down, scrolling through a phone. My relationships with people I interact with everyday are more important than checking an app.
Rant done. I would love to show my photography work through instagram still. But, until then there are more ways. Have a WONDERFUL night, day, and know you are worth more then what an app tells you.